This Is Me

Change is good.

I think I am ready to move on. To move on and feel better.

I have to admit, I was always one of those kids that are emo. Dressing in black, long hair covering one eye, etc etc. It’s not all for show. There was a reason behind it.

But I think I am ready for change, to be optimistic, to look at life from a different perspective. My blog title had always been “Love, Hardship and Betrayal”. I loved it. I can’t explain my profound admiration for it. It holds such great ‘feeling’ for lack of better words. It’s time to change the blog title as well.

As for the URL, unspokenromance.com, I created this blog back in 2007 when I was 16 years old. The story behind it was that, back then, I used to have a crush on someone. Thus, that’s how the URL came about. I’m so over it. The URL no longer holds any meaning for me.

Is this what it’s like entering in adulthood?

I’m actually typing this entry whilst Mr David, my Mobile Device Programming teacher, is talking.

Recently, I acquire a certain product that promised whiter teeth. As usual, I was quite skeptical about it.

But lord behold, after six hours of using it, my teeth is definitely whiter!

As the days go by, I’ve been using it and my teeth has been so white to the extent that the whiteness looks fake. Nonetheless, I LOVE IT.

I’m in love with the whiteness and of course utterly happy.

I’m in love with my MSN contact list.

T means you’re an asshole. Kidding. It means Away. X means Busy and heart just means online for you with no other abnormal status.

I have been so busy lately and will be even super busy in the upcoming week. 2 test and 2 assignment submission for next week! Major insanity.

Anyways, last thursday July 16, 2009. Yes it’s been about more than a week, my iMac arrived! It’s like finally!

This is the specification of my iMac,

• 24″ Glossy Display
• 2.93GHz Intel Core 2 Duo
• 4GB 1066 MHz DDR3 SD RAM
• 640GB Serial ATA Hard Drive
• ATI Radeon HD 4850 512 MB
• Apple Mighty Mouse & Keyboard

And of course it comes with iLife, MAC OS X and so on and so forth. I can’t wait for Snow Leopard to be out! I got another offer, Snow leopard for 9USD only! This machine runs blazing fast. Comparing to my Macbook, 2.4GHz and 4GB RAM. It’s way better even though the specification is nearly the same.

It cost about $3050 all in all. It’s a gift from my parents for doing well in school! Hopefully i can still do well in school.. I’m finding this semester difficult.. I don’t wanna disappoint them. Anyways, since it was a gift i had to somewhat take advantage of the opportunity given. I specifically configured mine at the Apple Store,Yes i know you get more for what you pay for like any other computer like DELL, HP but it’s not a mac, I got the most expensive graphics card that money can buy for the iMac. Yes, I know I’m such as asshole. But i play games at times too! Speaking of games, i so love Left 4 Dead and i can’t wait for Left 4 Dead 2 is be out. I’m digressing.

Nevertheless, my iMac is so heavy. The exact weight is 11.5 kg. I had a hard time carrying it alone into my room after it got delivered. Let the pictures do the talking!

Hugely written. ‘Assembled in China.” – Finely printed at the bottom.

It’s thin and have 2 USB ports and yet it’s sturdy. It feels heavy.

Totally loving it.

My macbook and loads of wires on my desk.

It’s not that glossy. It still has a plastic warp around it.

What? Only one wire? The power cord only? Sucks to be you, Windoze Users. Well.. unless you’re using a windows laptop then you win me LOL. I still have the Keyboard and mouse wire.

Pretty much, everything in my room is white..

The slit where you actually push in the CD or DVD.

And then my skin arrived for my ipod touch. I got this plaid design which is somewhat close to Burberry’s design.

And it also comes with a matching wallpaper! I paid $13 only for it. Cheap or what huh? I’m so in love with the design. And i absolutely love my gorgeous iMac.

Avez-vous le savez, j’ai été ravie que vous l’avez fait.
Avez-vous le savez, j’ai juré que je n’ai jamais été jamais l’effacer?
Saviez-vous que je suis totalement fou au cours de cette?
Avez-vous le savez, je ne peux pas arrêter de penser à ce sujet?
Je ne sais pas ce que je veux avec vous.
Mais tout ce que je sais, c’est que j’ai besoin de toi.
De quoi s’agit-il?
Suis-je trompé?
D’autres vous, je veux aussi.
Je veux vous deux.
Je viens de l’impression d’être tenue.
S’il vous plaît, je ne veux pas répéter l’histoire.

It’s french by the way. Don’t we all love a little bit of mystery? 
I am so confused. 

Marié Digby – Stupid For You.

It’s not everyday
That I find a person quite like you
Perfect every way
I finally found the nerve to confess that it’s you – that I want
I don’t care if I act a fool
I would damn near beg for you
Set aside, all my pride
So don’t keep me hanging here

Behind closed doors, we cried. Under the watchful eyes we lied.

I wonder if anyone is smart enough to decipher that.

Son: Mummy, it’s raining. We need the umbrella.
Mummy: Ohh no it’s not raining. We don’t need the umbrella. 

Every single thing that i typed has a hidden meaning.

This post is boring.

What’s with people copying other people? Where’s your sense of originality.

Urgh don’t make me roll my eyes.

*Roll eyes*

LOOK WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

Random odd weird moments smacking right on my face.

Better not step on the freakin’ grass!
I warned you! Now you owe me 50 bucks!

Eeeuuu bird poop.

I was watching private practice episode 1 of season 1 in the library during my break
I can’t express anymore how much i freakin’ love that drama! It’s on Starhub Cable TEEVEE Channel 18 Star World.

Anyone watch Private Practice?

The name is FLUFFY!

Did i tell you guys how i love using macintosh? With their latest operating system, Macintosh OS X Leopard, it has time machine and it works seamlessly with my time capsule. In another words time machine will automatically makes backup of my macbook every 1 hour. HOW AWESOME? I don’t have to worry anymore about losing my project. Everything is inside the damn freakin’ time capsule!

Anyways, today during CMSK, kok’s laptop kinda hang while he was doing his presentation and i was like muttering under my breath, this wouldn’t happen if you bought a mac. LOLOL.

I really really want an AMERICAN ACCENT. Period. I kinda rarely use Singlish. And i tried to slang a little when i talk. But i think my english sucks big time!

Why don’t you take a second to think about the last time you made fun of someone. Probably not long ago. In fact, you may be making fun of me right now which is certainly within the realm of possibility. But anyway, i would suggest that when you make fun of someone it is actually illuminating something in yourself with which you yourself is uncomfortable. 

For an example, you might be making fun of someone for being ugly and i think that would probably mean that you yourself are insecure with the way that you look. Or you might make fun of someone a boy for an example for being feminine and that’s probably because you yourself are uncomfortable with your own femininity.

So when you make fun of someone you are really defining yourself and not that other person. And i said that before and i’ll it say it again right now. when you make fun of someone you’re defining not them but rather yourself. So you know when you make fun of someone you’re actually saying a lot about yourself and really nothing about the other person. I think that’s an important point that should be made.

And what does this has to do with loving yourself? Well, i think that when you love yourself, you don’t find the need to judge or make fun of other people. So you know do i think that anyone will be 100% not be able to judge anyone? No. I think thats probably not really possible for most of us. But! i think that all of us can bring awareness to those moments when we’re judging other people and say okay, I’m making a judgement here and this is saying a lot about myself and how i feel about myself.

And that itself is very illuminating, powerful and wonderful. So i think it also worth saying that it is easier to love yourself when you have a more complete understanding of yourself. I don’t think you need to know yourself 100% in order to love yourself. I don’t think it’s possible to know yourself 100%. I think that we spend most of our lives discovering who we are and i think that in many ways the best answer to the question of who am i? is probably to silence because word can’t really get at that truth.

But when we took moments to step into silence or to spend time keeping in with nature. If we turn off the radio, if we turn off the television, if we turn off the American Idol. If we turn those things off and step into some silence, i think it is a great way to discover who we are in a more complete way i suppose.

So how do you love yourself? Well, i think a great step is to bring awareness to those moments when you judge other people and i think you should make priority to schedule  alone time. And if all else fails, you can love yourself the old fashion way.

wickydkewl

Do i love myself? Well, in certain aspect, yes however, i’m still trying to be a better person.

I was gangraped 4 times! I don’t want to elaborate on this.

Ms Yong showed my work about the strength. I wrote a lot of crap, that explains why it’s a page. I wrote nonsense such as I’m good at eating. In general, it was off-topic. Naturally, I’m a pessimistic person thus, I wrote all the bad qualities that I can think of.

There’s no PE tomorrow. The weird part is that I actually do want PE. I want to play hockey!

I wanna be a conductor just like Mr Lee. I think it’s a cool career but I don’t know how. I’m not sure of what path should I take to become one. Should I enroll into La Salle College of the Arts or Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts and take a diploma in music (Performing/Teaching).

At the same time, I’d love to be a engineer. Specifically, an aerospace engineer. I need to start planning for my future. Today, there was paper about various talks and I can only choose one. I was thinking if I should choose Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts, maybe they’ll give a talk about how to become a conductor and another option was career talks about engineering. I was in a total dilemma. I ended up choosing Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts.