Where’s the fun if i didn’t keep this private?

Fun as in referring to those people who will start cracking their brain and pondering around who I’m referring to.

Well, I know that it meant no harm but it was still unexpected.

It’s been aeons hasn’t it?  To be precise, 7th of August 2007. It ended about 2:30 PM.

Firstly, I’m going to say.

I’m not accepting your apology.

It’s not because I’m a mean evil moron but let me explain.

What you did was for the best. We both had the best interest at heart no? There’s no need to worry so much about this.

We sat and talked through things calmly and there’s no screaming and no shouting of profanity words. That’s good.

Your main intention wasn’t to blew me off and torture me. I’m at fault. I’m to be blamed for being such a horrible person. Definitely there’s no need for me to reiterate the reasons! How embarrassing! And I’d rather it to be suppressed by time.

Of course at that heat of the moment, i was naive and being irrational and blaming you for everything. But everything’s good now after seeing it from a different perspective. It came to me that, it was a mutual agreement and we’re not there to kill each other. Like i said, it was all for the best.

To be honest, i felt relieved, even though a tad gloomy at that time. I did notice that, 2 months before the actual incident, things weren’t going so well. I dragged it as far as i can hoping things will change. We all know the outcome.

Can you imagine the anxiety i was feeling thinking about the end for 2 months? It was horrible beyond words!

Anyway, it was all for the best. It’s all good now. Actually, i feel relieved that you decided to let this go. You are right? I don’t like it when you’re holding a grudge against me or something.

Good day to you

and

happy new year.

And hopefully you’ll be able to pursue a life with no worries.

PS. Can you imagine if we actually talked to each other in real life? Haha It’ll so awkward. I’d rather not.

Lol my dad. Must be nice to him when his CPF comes out so he can partly sponsor my Volkswagen car.

Hair/face was toot-like. Understandable.

Amazing isn’t it?

I absolutely love the scenery, the sound of the waves crashing against the yacht and the smell of salty water.

Thank God that it didn’t rain.

The yacht was ‘parked’ at the harbor near Sentosa Cove. We hired a driver too! 

We started off by cruising around the nearby island and then stopped somewhere at Kusu Island. The island wasn’t that near but we can ’see’ it. As it was cruising i could see the border further ahead, that separates the color of the water, green and blue. And blue means it’s deeper. But when we reach the so called border. It wasn’t eminent. Poof it was gone.

We didn’t know that we can swim. So no one brought extra clothes and i was wearing just a tee and pair of denim pants.

What the heck. Just jump in the deep deep deep water. It’s really really deep and not forgetting it’s cold too. But the weird thing was that, the water at the surface was warm and cold when you go deeper.

Hair and face was toot-like. Understandable. And yes, i do need the float to stay afloat. I wasn’t confident of swimming without the float. Shut up and imagine swimming there when there’s no shore at all. There is, Kusu Island but it’s sooooooooooo far. 

And the driver saw a jellyfish and scooped it up to prevent it from touching us.

it was getting dark and then we hopped back in and started cruising back to Sentosa Cove. As it was cruising, my tee and hair was becoming dry  -_-

I was suffering from slight motion sickness.

I couldn’t enter the cabin, once i enter it, motion sickness creeps in. But there’s like a kitchen, a sofa, a room etcetera.

It was really nice, initially i was just sitting at the end with my legs hanging and dipping in the water with the waves crashing.

Twilight, again. Another ending. No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end.

 

Edward Cullen, Twilight, Epilogue, p.495

 

Heh, the quote was refering to this picture, twilight of the day.

Absolutely amazing!

I love this photo. I took it!

There’s more photo with my brother -_-

Let me burst the bubble now.

ARE YOU KIDDING WITH ME?

Do you actually think that my dad farm gold for a living and bought a yacht?

Of course not morons!

We rented the yacht. Duh! But when you started seeing those other yacht at the Sentosa Cove which they sort of ‘park’ it. You’ll be cursing under your breath like, damn rich fuckers who can afford these.

By the way, today is the second day I’d been pestering my parents to get me a Volkswagen Eos. It’s freakin’ sexy!

ohh, you’re so charming!

“Urmmmmm it’s so good i can’t remember when i let my tongue taste this.”

I wonder, whose chocolate birthday cake is that in the fridge?

Who cares! As long as i can sank my teeth on it.

Well, I’m not that evil. I did ponder around thinking, why did someone buy a cake and there’s no celebration going on in the house. So i thought, it’s my brother’s girlfriend’s birthday? Why did he bring back the cake? Well, I’ll just… taste a little more of that heaven..

Then i’ll say,

NOT ME. I DIDN’T EAT THE CAKE.

If the need arises of course. Evidently, i didn’t eat all of it. There’s still plenty right now as I’m typing.

After a day or two passed by, it still doesn’t make sense to me. Why did he brought back the cake?

Then it hit me like a kid hit your fucking head with a baseball bat.

IT WAS MY BROTHER’S DAY 2 DAYS AGO.

And i chuckled. I couldn’t care less to be honest whilst still pinching a little bit of heaven into my mouth. 

I can’t resist the awesomeness that engulfed me. 

Way better than sex to be honest.

KIDDING.

Stupid. Can you be less serious? 

Well, i still didn’t wish him a happy birthday or happy belated birthday because I’m not close to him. You might think that it’s weird and awkward when you don’t talk to someone who is living under the same roof as you. Not exactly if you don’t see them everyday. 

Birthday or no birthday. No big deal in this family. I didn’t get a cake for my birthday and i don’t really care. No one got me a present as well other than my parents which is my Macbook and my brother didn’t get anything as well. It hit me like aeons ago that nobody can afford what i want.

AHAHAHA I AM SUCH A SNOB.

Okay. Ignored that.

I want stuff like, my own apartment, a car and etcetera. Technically, no one can afford it. To me the most important thing is the thought. Like the cliche, annoying, goosebumps giving saying, the thought that counts. And nothing else matter. That explains why i get a little upset then i expect a wish, when they didn’t, from some people i know=x on my birthday.

Fine, i don’t talk to anyone in this family except for my mother. Yes, i know. Shut up.

Anyway, i finished the entire Twilight Saga and I’m so tempted to reread it but i can’t

As me, the ohh-so-great-wonderful one has always said,

“Education is of upmost importance.”

Yea right.

Honestly, I’m little flabbergasted and annoyed so I’m pissed at every teeny weeny thing that irritates me.

TERM BREAK MY ASS.

YEA YOU HEAR ME. MY ASS.

Why not change it to You-have-to-complete-5-assignments week.

Insane indeed insane.

and CMSK draft was due yesterday i don’t feel the slightest urgency at all.

I’m still mentally tired. Not only from the term test but also i have my own little battle in my head.

2 major conflict in my head going on everyday. It’s probable that i might just snap one day and end up in IMH. It’s not as if it’s uncommon to see me in secluded area and break down suddenly.

That’s why i prefer to keep myself busy and pretend i don’t have to face it

Or read a book and forget everything and enter into a realm of tranquility. That’s why I’m afraid finish reading my Saga and  needing to adjust to the harsh and cold reality. 

Shut up you fuckface. Don’t judge me. You don’t know me. I remember telling myself that I’d change but no it’s been nearly a year? And it’s still the same.

Slap me when you get the chance.

And i should stop using profanity words. It’s not really nice. I don’t think it suits me as well. It’s so hooligan like and i hate it if someone ever ever ever associate me with being a hooligan and it’s plausible upon seeing the color of my hair.

Yea i know. Laugh your ass now bitches.

Me and the word hooligan doesn’t go along well in a sentence.

Holidays are so boring. There’s nothing much to do or should I say, I’m not motivated to do anything. Unless, they is extrinsic motivation. Ohh shut up, enough of psychology.

I don’t like this free time that I’m having. My mind wanders too much and making me emotionally exhausted. And then, i won’t feel like doing anything at all. But i hope i can utilize the time I’m having by completing the 5 Assignments. OOPG, DCNK, Psychology, Sociology and CMSK assignment.

2 Weeks isn’t that long i can endure it. Hopefully i can since this is only the first day of the 2 Weeks. Can you imagine what it will be like for the February to April break? Cringed at the thought for that.

No, finishing up the Twilight saga isn’t an option.

I asked my father to wrap my Twilight saga books with plastic to keep it in pristine condition and store it in the glass bookcase. For showcasing purposes. That’s why when people asked me, can i borrow your books when you’re done? And i said no. I don’t want to borrow and then ending the book in horrid condition. Even though you promised that you’ll take care of it with your life, accidents too happen and they are inevitable. Am i being self-centered? I doubt. I finally have the moral conviction to say no.

It feels weird to talk to my father. I’m never close to my father and I’m quite rude to him. I ignored him most of the time and the only time when I’m talking to him is when i needed something, in that scenario above, the wrapping of the books. It felt weird talking to him. Usually when he talks to me, I’ll either reply or ignore him based on my moods.

feeling queasy when i tell myself not to breakdown.

“What a stupid lamb”

“What a sick, masochistic lion”

It’s getting worse. I can barely control my obsession. And i’m so emotionally drained from these books. 

I don’t find it mushy? And i don’t know why i’m so obsessed with it.

I’m almost done reading my second book but i refused to finish it and bare all this horrible desire.

I’m left with 2 weeks and 2 books. I doubt it can last that long.

Don’t remind me that i need to complete my CMSK, Sociology and OOPG assignments and brush up on Psychology assignment.

Damn it. 2 weeks break and 4 projects.

Teenage romance involving vampires are way better than teenagers struggling in a wizard school. It makes me wonder, why i actually bothered buying harry potter books in the past and read it. I didn’t like it though. I guess i just bought it and read it because everyone is doing it.

Yes I’m like one of those suckers who doesn’t know that Twilight books actually exist until the movie came out. No, actually i do know it existed and i did pick it up and read the synopsis but it wasn’t interesting to me back then.

After watching Twilight the movie, i grew obsessed with it and can’t stop watching it again and again till i can literally reiterate almost every single line in the movie. To feed more of my obsession i ordered the entire twilight saga on Kinokuniya’s website. It was delivered to me on 11th December and I’ve finished reading the first book yesterday. I didn’t know that i was able to finish it that quickly. The last harry potter book i read took me like half a year.

I almost cried when Bella was bitten by James.

I started the second book today. New Dawn, the name of the second book is a torture for me to read. Honestly, i keep telling myself, relax it’s fiction. It made me so gloomy when Edward Cullen broke up with Bella Swan. I closed the book after reading the particular chapter. I can’t take it.

I’m afaird.

Very afaird.

That i might finish reading the entire saga too fast and become an emo person because I’ve nothing to read about it anymore. I’ve been trying to take things slow.

I was watching Twilight with my books. They were just beside my macbook for photography purposes. If not, I’m literally hugging them and watching it.(And then drop them all when my family member pass by)

You have no idea how obsessed i am with this saga.

They made Edward Cullen look really weird. Pale with red lips. He looks more like a HIV/AIDS Sufferer rather than a vampire.

Okay next.

DON’T YOU LOVE DECEMBER AND CHRISTMAS SALES?

IT’S LIKE YOUR PARENTS GET THEIR BONUS PAY AND EVERYTHING IS SO CHEAP AND THEY BRING YOU TO GO SHOPPING TILL YOU DROP.

I got a flip-flops that cost 69.90. Yes really. 69.90.

Ringgit.

Malaysia money. ahha. Which is $35.

But still i think that’s the most amount of money i ever spend on flip-flops. Quicksilver’s by the way. My previous OP and Ripcurl flip-flops were like $20.

My mummy is gonna get me a new watch too!

Question 1 and 2 was easy but question 3, i only managed to do the first part. Insert of user’s input into the Array List.

I can safely say that i can pass but I’m not confident of getting an A.

Term Test is next week.

Sociology test on thursday

And some utter bullshit on wednesday for CMSK. CMSK is honestly a waste of time.

I’m pissed with my mum. Why can’t she apologize automatically when she did something wrong? Must i cue her in? She’s my parent so what? It means that as your parent it’s okay to commit mistakes and get away with it without apologizing? I’m still a human being and still deserve respect. I’m not asking much.

The foundation she bought was too light and no we can’t exchange it.

And you guys should honestly listen to Britney Spear’s new album, Circus or go suck someone’s foot.

I’ll continue cramming for Sociology test.

“To hell with ppl who think they are SMART. especially so when it’s only in the aspects of studies. -Only”

Education is fucking important in Singapore’s fast paced society.

You got a diploma? Big deal. Unlike in the past.

In what other aspects can you be smart in? Being a womanizer? Honestly i can’t think what other aspect we can be smart in. Bussiness is learned through school too and gaining experience along the way.

I heard somewhere i can’t remember.

In polytechnic, things like this still happens.

YOU NOT HAPPY? I CAN CALL DOWN 30 PEOPLE.

FUCKING LAME.

Aren’t we treated as young adults in the campus? That attitude is so secondary school like.

Since we’re young adults, settle it like adults! Why not sue each other asses. And then set a restraining order.

I like it that way better. Or maybe they can’t. Peasants.

They’re so dumb. They have 30 people so what. The rich can use the law as an instrument of oppression. I can’t believe that they are so immature and uncivilised.

So the person called down 30 people and then other party called for 50 people. Stupid. Trying to win in this situation in such a dumb egoistic manner. They should at least play along with the law on their side.

They think that they are superior to the others because they have a lot of ‘connections’ and well built.

STUPID ASSHOLES.

BARE THIS IN MIND. THE RICH ARE WAY SUPERIOR AND CUNNING THEN YOU MORONIC PEASANT.

I wonder when will these peasants ever open up and understand this.

Like honestly, do they really think that life is just about being in a boxing ring? The physically strong dominating?

Think again.

Dawn Yang’s blog isn’t gone.

I thought it was gone when i couldn’t visit it the other time. I was devastated.

BUT NOT ANYMORE

HER BLOG GOT A REVAMP(Cosmetic Surgery)!

WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!

My life totally depends on her blog.

I wonder what i’ll do without reading her blog everyday..

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

I’m tired of asking my group members to join in the DCNK assignment.

If they’re not gonna do it. 

FINE. I’LL DO IT ALL BY MYSELF.