This Is Me

And my mother was rushing out the door with her pale stricken face.

And i was wondering what happened?

“Your sister called saying your brother got into an accident he’s in the ambulance wheeled to the hospital”

“Ohh? Text me when you get more information”

A little background information, I was never close to my siblings my sister or my brother. I treated them as nonexistence. We don’t talk to each other. We don’t acknowledge each other. Well my sister is always at home but i’m rarely in the same room as her. As for my brother, he rarely sits at home. He goes to work and after work he would spend time with his girlfriend. The only time he comes back home is late night and in the next morning, he would be gone.

We don’t even make any eye contact at all. And the only time when we actually go out together is probably when it’s family day when my father forced us and perhaps Hari Raya, you know visiting our relatives. 

I was in the bathroom thinking what will it be like if he’s dead. To be honest, i don’t feel sad at all but i am a little worried. And i was wondering if he dies can i get his room? And if he dies, he’s pretty worthless he didn’t bring much assets or money into the family. It wouldn’t be a big hit for me.

And so i was pondering upon that. Aren’t I’m such a mean horrible person? I never did like my siblings anyway. It’s somewhat true that all i could think about it money money and money to buy things that i want not that i need. Don’t call me a materialistic fucker because i already know that. Why don’t you try telling me something that i don’t know?

And then an image of my mother sitting at the edge of the bedside with her face in her hands weeping uncontrollably and holding a yasin, which is like a subset of the Qur’an, the holy book, i guess, trying to find faith or calmness from god. That totally hit me hard. I guess upon all my family members, if anyone dies, my mother is gonna be hit the hardest in terms of the emotional pain. She told my brother countless times, don’t ride the motorbike it’s dangerous!

I love my mother very much. I’m sure everyone do i guess unless you have some conflict going on and then that’s a different story. I guess i don’t really care if i my brother dies but i do care that my mother will be very upset and i wouldn’t want that to happen to her. Besides, she’s 53. That’s old and being old and receiving such complicating and shocking words could proved to be too much for her. I don’t want anything to happen to her. Not to mention my father he’s 55.

Yet somehow my hands are trembling. Well i do hope everything will be alright. How bad can it be?

There is only four people i’ve met in my entire life that i have considered them as remarkably extraordinary.

Great minds they have.

It’s a total flop.

I highly doubt i’m in the top 10%. Expected to do badly but still quite upset upon seeing the truth.

URGH I’M SO ANGRY WITH MYSELF. I SHOULD HAVE STUDIED MORE?

at The Body Shop.

Bronzing Powder 

Tea Tree Oil Hand Cleanse Gel

Mint Lip Balm or Pink Grapefruit Lip Butter (aka Balm also)

Pink Grapefruit Body Scrub

Men Wash bag!

The total is $100.50.

THAT IS SO FREKIN’ INSANE AND EXPENSIVE.

But i really want it. But i don’t really need it.

Apple Incorporated recently released their new line of desktop computers.

To be honest, their updates was a disappointment. I was expecting something big like adding a quad core.

Nevertheless, I’m getting the 24 Inch Model! It’s gonna be freakin’ huge i tell you!

I hurried into my mother’s room and said “Apple released a new line of desktop. I want it.”

“Wait till the renovation is settled and your room is done”

Urghh..

Now I’m contemplating whether i should get the 2.93GHz with built to order 1TB of storage and Nvidia GeForce G130. Or default 640 GB of storage and ATI Radeon HD 4850.

Getting a better graphic card is a better option BUT the thought of having 1 TB in your computer is sweet! Though i don’t need that much of space considering i have an external 500GB hard disk and I’m left with 200GB of it. It’s still plenty.

Both of the total cost is somewhere around $3,000! Price is also discounted with the education discount!

Mr Mark Philip gets the education discount too. BUY IT MR MARK BUY IT!!!!!!

I can get a better machine with far superior specification with $3,000! Like a dell machine! 

But it’s Windows. The most freakin’ gayest operating system ever invented.

People, shut up and try the Mac OS X for once. You’ll fall in love with it instantly and notice a big difference compared to stinking Windows machine.

I shall end my post with this,

It’s Dawn Yang! I got that picture from her blog! She visited the most… holiest sounds wrong.. let me think of another word.. reputable place of the Apple evangelist club. It’s the glass cube at New York, Fifth Avenue. It’s a marvel of architecture.

And people should really stop bothering about Dawn Yang and care more about their own life instead of googling all the time trying to find evidence that she went under the knife.

Random side note, i want her nose.