This Is Me

You have to love the last part. It is very inspirational.

Dear All,

I didn’t expect anyone to notice that my behavior changed but i guess people do. It became a habitually lie for me to say nothing when people asked what is wrong.

Though i very much appreciate it, I’ll appreciate it even more if no one acknowledged my existence.

From what i perceived, some people are trying to help, correct yourself if I’m wrong. Indeed i do appreciate it very much. However, i tend to give the cold shoulder. I would like to make it clear that my intention honestly isn’t to offend you. I do feel guilty for doing so when one acknowledged me but what other choice do i have? Don’t waste the time trying to fix. What i wanna erase, what i need to forget.

//Random side note, I feel that Thomas & Denise are offended.

You might be wondering, what the hell is wrong with me and that I’m a weird abnormal person.

Now, please define ‘normal’ for me.

Because i have no rights or reason to be mad. This is what i chose but it’s not what i really want.

- A random thought doodled in my notebook.

Yes, i did chose to isolate myself. There is simply no other choice i have. But it’s not something i want either..

In conclusion, please ignore me or try not to acknowledge my existence. I will appreciate it. But please don’t hate me for choosing this decision.

In case you’re wondering, Yes, I’m hiding the truth. I’m afraid to let the truth run wild.

Yours sincerely,
Nazri

PS. I can’t seem to figure out all the repercussions of this. Do tell me if you know some.

I witnessed my parents paying for the treadmill at Parkway Parade!

It’s the AIBI GYM brand! It’s getting delivered this friday evening!

I’m so gonna make full use of it during my school holidays and lose 10 KG!

Now, i need MAC products asap.

I’m always not satisfied with my life. And that kinda makes me upset.

I wonder if I’m being ungrateful or it’s really that bad.

It’s only because i’m afraid to let anyone see the real truth. 

Will there be acceptance or mockery?

I hate this feeling of…

“I want it! And i want it now!”

I hate waiting..

And today marks the final day for this academic year.

I decided to step inside Watson’s again!

Guess what i got this time!

First, it’s the Neutrogena lip balm! I got it for $5.65. This thing is great mind you. I’ve been using Vaseline Lip Balm for a few years and i don’t really like it because i tend to lick my lips and it’ll be gone and Vaseline feels a tad oily. It’s like putting oil on your lips whilst Neutrogena has this waxy formulation and it stays longer.

Most people are going to cringe at this. I bought it for $19.90. I went to the cosmetic section alone! I brace myself and look around. And the promoter was like looking at me but i totally ignored the animal. (She doesn’t deserve to be classified as a human being.) I wanted the Revlon’s ColorStay concealer or the Beyond Natural concealer but i couldn’t find it. There’s only the Revlon Age Defying concealer.

There was also this other guy he really looks like a peasant and his hair is like Nicholas’s, long hair. And he was looking at the cosmetic section too! He was looking at the ZA’s cosmetic! Overall, the entire process wasn’t that bad. I was taking my time trying different concealers on my hand finding the correct color. My hand did tremble a little bit trying it all out.

The color i chose for the concealer was the darkest! Oh god, since when i was that dark? I didn’t know i became so tan! An uneven tan actually, even worse.

I bet none of you guys dare to do what i did this afternoon! SUCKERS! You guys are so pathetic! Totally insecure of your masculinity!

Well, i did buy a concealer so i do need a brush to use it. Unlike my L’oreal True Match concealer which provided a brush but it’s way too light for me. It’s not the correct concealer brush but i don’t really care! I’ve no idea what the hell is that pink stick! I’ll just feed it to my cats. This is the smallest brush i could find in Watson’s! It’s $5.95.

The last item! St. Ives Mineral Clay Firming Mask for $8.50. I couldn’t find the Blue Clay Firming Mask but it’s nearly the same. I finally got it! I don’t know if i need it? But i just want it for some odd reason.

And i spend a total of $40 at watson’s! Ohh gosh! That means, i spent nearly $70 at watson’s this week! They should start up like a member card and get points for spending. Or do they already have that?

All this isn’t helping me to save for my Ray Ban’s shades

CMSK went horribly wrong. I stammered. I had grammar mistakes. And worst of all, i had about 30 seconds of awkward silence while i was figuring out what else to say. But i practice like a ton of time yesterday! (And my fake american/british accent didn’t came out so well )

Anyways, i skipped OOPG lecture. It’s bad i know especially during this time, who knows he might give some tips for the final exams.

I went to Watson’s though.

GUESS WHAT I BOUGHT!

Evian Facial Spray, St. Ives Apricot Scrub and my L’oreal Men Facial Cleanser!

Evian Facial Spray cost me $10.95. And the description on the back says,

Wake up your skin and sense with Evian Facial Spray! Used daily, Evian Facial Spray increases your skin hydration by 14%, helps to fix make-up, and offers you constant freshness and purity. From the French Alps. Evian natural mineral water has a balanced mineral composition and a neutral pH suiting all skin types.

I didn’t know exactly how it does it. I bought it since i was rather curious. I tried it at home. And i shouted, OMG ARE YOU KIDDING WITH ME? IT’S JUST EVIAN WATER IN A SPRAY CAN THAT COST NEARLY $11 AND IT’S ONLY 150 ML.

Yes. Indeed it is.

And then i proceeded trying the St. Ives Apricot Scrub! It cost $8.50. It felt like rubbing sand on your face, for exfoliation i guess. It feels good after i wash it off and then use my miracle water/toner.

I did said i wanted to buy the St Ives Blue Clay Firming Mask. But firming mask? Do i really need to some firming done? I don’t think so.. It’s sort of like wasting money.

And i can’t wait till my current facial cleanser is finish! It’s about 1/2 a bottle left. It’s from L’oreal Men but L’oreal Men has a very wide range, like age defying, anti sebum and etcetera. I bought the Pure & Matte! It’s $9.90. I LOVE MATTE! Especially the Pure & Matte moisturizer, it is extremely good!

I spent $29.35. I didn’t get my miracle water/toner yet and my L’oreal Men moisturizer which are the most expensive thing. I’ll ask my mother to get it for me then i can save my cash for Ray Ban’s shades!

The other day i got conned and lost $20. Stupid old hag. I could use that $20 and bought myself that St Ives Blue Clay Firming Mask. I know i know i did say i don’t want it but a part of me still wants it. And i couldn’t find the L’oreal Exfotonic Exfoliator at Watson’s.

Remind me to get these.

Evian Facial Spray

St. Ives Blue Clay Firming Mask

St Ives Blemish Control Apricot Scrub

L’oreal exfotonic

And my L’oreal Men Cleanser, Moisturizer and toner is finishing too!

Shit. It’s gonna cost me like over $80 to get all these.

And how am i suppose to save for my ray ban shades?

That’s a secret i’ll never tell.

Very tempted to burn it away like the other time.