Yesterday, i received an unexpected email. Of course, you should know whom I’m referring to.

Where’s the fun if i didn’t keep this private?

Fun as in referring to those people who will start cracking their brain and pondering around who I’m referring to.

Well, I know that it meant no harm but it was still unexpected.

It’s been aeons hasn’t it?  To be precise, 7th of August 2007. It ended about 2:30 PM.

Firstly, I’m going to say.

I’m not accepting your apology.

It’s not because I’m a mean evil moron but let me explain.

What you did was for the best. We both had the best interest at heart no? There’s no need to worry so much about this.

We sat and talked through things calmly and there’s no screaming and no shouting of profanity words. That’s good.

Your main intention wasn’t to blew me off and torture me. I’m at fault. I’m to be blamed for being such a horrible person. Definitely there’s no need for me to reiterate the reasons! How embarrassing! And I’d rather it to be suppressed by time.

Of course at that heat of the moment, i was naive and being irrational and blaming you for everything. But everything’s good now after seeing it from a different perspective. It came to me that, it was a mutual agreement and we’re not there to kill each other. Like i said, it was all for the best.

To be honest, i felt relieved, even though a tad gloomy at that time. I did notice that, 2 months before the actual incident, things weren’t going so well. I dragged it as far as i can hoping things will change. We all know the outcome.

Can you imagine the anxiety i was feeling thinking about the end for 2 months? It was horrible beyond words!

Anyway, it was all for the best. It’s all good now. Actually, i feel relieved that you decided to let this go. You are right? I don’t like it when you’re holding a grudge against me or something.

Good day to you

and

happy new year.

And hopefully you’ll be able to pursue a life with no worries.

PS. Can you imagine if we actually talked to each other in real life? Haha It’ll so awkward. I’d rather not.

Let the photos do the talking.

Lol my dad. Must be nice to him when his CPF comes out so he can partly sponsor my Volkswagen car.

Hair/face was toot-like. Understandable.

Amazing isn’t it?

I absolutely love the scenery, the sound of the waves crashing against the yacht and the smell of salty water.

Thank God that it didn’t rain.

The yacht was ‘parked’ at the harbor near Sentosa Cove. We hired a driver too!

We started off by cruising around the nearby island and then stopped somewhere at Kusu Island. The island wasn’t that near but we can ‘see’ it. As it was cruising i could see the border further ahead, that separates the color of the water, green and blue. And blue means it’s deeper. But when we reach the so called border. It wasn’t eminent. Poof it was gone.

We didn’t know that we can swim. So no one brought extra clothes and i was wearing just a tee and pair of denim pants.

What the heck. Just jump in the deep deep deep water. It’s really really deep and not forgetting it’s cold too. But the weird thing was that, the water at the surface was warm and cold when you go deeper.

Hair and face was toot-like. Understandable. And yes, i do need the float to stay afloat. I wasn’t confident of swimming without the float. Shut up and imagine swimming there when there’s no shore at all. There is, Kusu Island but it’s sooooooooooo far.

And the driver saw a jellyfish and scooped it up to prevent it from touching us.

it was getting dark and then we hopped back in and started cruising back to Sentosa Cove. As it was cruising, my tee and hair was becoming dry  -_-

I was suffering from slight motion sickness.

I couldn’t enter the cabin, once i enter it, motion sickness creeps in. But there’s like a kitchen, a sofa, a room etcetera.

It was really nice, initially i was just sitting at the end with my legs hanging and dipping in the water with the waves crashing.

Heh, the quote was refering to this picture, twilight of the day.

Absolutely amazing!

I love this photo. I took it!

There’s more photo with my brother -_-

Let me burst the bubble now.

ARE YOU KIDDING WITH ME?

Do you actually think that my dad farm gold for a living and bought a yacht?

Of course not morons!

We rented the yacht. Duh! But when you started seeing those other yacht at the Sentosa Cove which they sort of ‘park’ it. You’ll be cursing under your breath like, damn rich fuckers who can afford these.

By the way, today is the second day I’d been pestering my parents to get me a Volkswagen Eos. It’s freakin’ sexy!

“Urrmm that chocolate cake literally melts in my mouth.”

“Urmmmmm it’s so good i can’t remember when i let my tongue taste this.”

I wonder, whose chocolate birthday cake is that in the fridge?

Who cares! As long as i can sank my teeth on it.

Well, I’m not that evil. I did ponder around thinking, why did someone buy a cake and there’s no celebration going on in the house. So i thought, it’s my brother’s girlfriend’s birthday? Why did he bring back the cake? Well, I’ll just… taste a little more of that heaven..

Then i’ll say,

NOT ME. I DIDN’T EAT THE CAKE.

If the need arises of course. Evidently, i didn’t eat all of it. There’s still plenty right now as I’m typing.

After a day or two passed by, it still doesn’t make sense to me. Why did he brought back the cake?

Then it hit me like a kid hit your fucking head with a baseball bat.

IT WAS MY BROTHER’S DAY 2 DAYS AGO.

And i chuckled. I couldn’t care less to be honest whilst still pinching a little bit of heaven into my mouth.

I can’t resist the awesomeness that engulfed me.

Way better than sex to be honest.

KIDDING.

Stupid. Can you be less serious?

Well, i still didn’t wish him a happy birthday or happy belated birthday because I’m not close to him. You might think that it’s weird and awkward when you don’t talk to someone who is living under the same roof as you. Not exactly if you don’t see them everyday.

Birthday or no birthday. No big deal in this family. I didn’t get a cake for my birthday and i don’t really care. No one got me a present as well other than my parents which is my Macbook and my brother didn’t get anything as well. It hit me like aeons ago that nobody can afford what i want.

AHAHAHA I AM SUCH A SNOB.

Okay. Ignored that.

I want stuff like, my own apartment, a car and etcetera. Technically, no one can afford it. To me the most important thing is the thought. Like the cliche, annoying, goosebumps giving saying, the thought that counts. And nothing else matter. That explains why i get a little upset then i expect a wish, when they didn’t, from some people i know=x on my birthday.

Fine, i don’t talk to anyone in this family except for my mother. Yes, i know. Shut up.

As me, the ohh-so-great-wonderful one has always said,

“Education is of upmost importance.”

Yea right.

Honestly, I’m little flabbergasted and annoyed so I’m pissed at every teeny weeny thing that irritates me.

TERM BREAK MY ASS.

YEA YOU HEAR ME. MY ASS.

Why not change it to You-have-to-complete-5-assignments week.

Insane indeed insane.

and CMSK draft was due yesterday i don’t feel the slightest urgency at all.

I’m still mentally tired. Not only from the term test but also i have my own little battle in my head.

2 major conflict in my head going on everyday. It’s probable that i might just snap one day and end up in IMH. It’s not as if it’s uncommon to see me in secluded area and break down suddenly.

That’s why i prefer to keep myself busy and pretend i don’t have to face it

Shut up you fuckface. Don’t judge me. You don’t know me. I remember telling myself that I’d change but no it’s been nearly a year? And it’s still the same.

Slap me when you get the chance.

And i should stop using profanity words. It’s not really nice. I don’t think it suits me as well. It’s so hooligan like and i hate it if someone ever ever ever associate me with being a hooligan and it’s plausible upon seeing the color of my hair.

Yea i know. Laugh your ass now bitches.

Me and the word hooligan doesn’t go along well in a sentence.

Yup, you read it right for sure. I hate school holidays. Well, not entirely. I do somewhat enjoy it. For an instance, I don’t need to wake up at 6AM anymore!

Holidays are so boring. There’s nothing much to do or should I say, I’m not motivated to do anything. Unless, there is extrinsic motivation. Too much of psychology.

I don’t like this free time that I’m having. My mind wanders too much and making me emotionally exhausted. And then, I’ll be dreading to do anything. But I hope I can utilize the time I’m having by completing the 5 Assignments. OOPG, DCNK, Psychology, Sociology and CMSK assignment.

2 Weeks isn’t that long I can endure it. Hopefully I can since this is only the first day of the 2 Weeks. Can you imagine what it will be like for the February to April break? Cringed at the thought of that.

It feels weird to talk to my father. I’m never close to my father and I’m quite rude to him. I ignore him most of the time and the only time when I’m talking to him is when I need something. It felt weird talking to him. Usually when he talks to me, I’ll either reply or ignore him based on my moods.

feeling queasy when i tell myself not to breakdown.

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.”

“What a stupid lamb”

“What a sick, masochistic lion”

It’s getting worse. I can barely control my obsession. And i’m so emotionally drained from these books. 

I don’t find it mushy? And i don’t know why i’m so obsessed with it.

I’m almost done reading my second book but i refused to finish it and bare all this horrible desire.

I’m left with 2 weeks and 2 books. I doubt it can last that long.

Don’t remind me that i need to complete my CMSK, Sociology and OOPG assignments and brush up on Psychology assignment.

Damn it. 2 weeks break and 4 projects.

First thing in the morning, HOOP Lab Test.

Question 1 and 2 was easy but question 3, i only managed to do the first part. Insert of user’s input into the Array List.

I can safely say that i can pass but I’m not confident of getting an A.

Term Test is next week.

Sociology test on thursday

And some utter bullshit on wednesday for CMSK. CMSK is honestly a waste of time.

I’m pissed with my mum. Why can’t she apologize automatically when she did something wrong? Must i cue her in? She’s my parent so what? It means that as your parent it’s okay to commit mistakes and get away with it without apologizing? I’m still a human being and still deserve respect. I’m not asking much.

The foundation she bought was too light and no we can’t exchange it.

And you guys should honestly listen to Britney Spear’s new album, Circus or go suck someone’s foot.

I’ll continue cramming for Sociology test.